sapaan angin pagi

kali ini aku menulis angin dalam definisi angin sesungguhnya.

aku teringat ketika pagi tadi
aku membuka mata yang hanya sempat aku istirahatkan beberapa menit
jendela kamarku terbuka
angin sempat menyapa kedalam kamarku
dan aku yang terduduk di kasurku saat itu terkena semilirnya

aneh..
rasa dari angin itu tidak lagi menyejukkanku
tidak membuatku menikmati ataupun tersenyum
rasanya angin tadi hanya melewatiku
rasanya aku hanya kerangka kosong yang sama sekali tidak tersentuh angin
rasanya angin itu membuat tulang tulangku menjadi ngilu kedinginan

aku tidak mengerti..
mengapa pagi itu menjadi sehampa ini
mengapa tubuhku rasanya hanya tulang tulang kerangka yang hidup

rasanya aku tidak bernyawa
hanya setengah hidup.

hai angin, kenapa bisa kau sadarkan aku akan banyak hal di pagi sebuta itu?

freedom

bingung mau nulis apa

bingung harus nulis gimana

kenapa aku suka menulis?

karena aku tidak perlu menceritakan apa yang aku rasa kepada siapapun

mereka yang ingin tau tentangku dengan mudah akan mengetahuinya (jika mereka memangbenar benar ingin tau) hanya dengan membaca tulisan tulisan di blog ini

and that's 

tapi bagaimana jika tiap aku menulis akan ada beberapa orang yang menyalah artikan?

atau ada beberapa orang yang menanyakan "mengapa kamu menulis seperitu?"

JUST F~ING READ IT!

oh, ayolah!

aku menulis karna aku tidak pandai bercerita

ada yang pernah mengatakan padaku "you are a big liar, Ris"

and i didn't deny it. i am.

that's why i'm writing. to feel free to show up what i really feel.

so how can i write honestly when everybody keep complaining and keep asking about so much things i don't wanna talk about??

then i'll get my freedom to write back.

breakable things

a breakable heart
doesn't it deserve to be held?
not to be left or betrayed
does anyone care about?

a breakable love
fragile and difficult
will someone take and treat it gently?
patiently and faithfully?

definisi kerinduan

yang disebut kerinduan,
bukan karena ia jauh berjarak kilometeran,
bukan karena ia tidak dapat terjamah rengkuhan,
atau karena ia tidak pernah terlihat cukup lama.

yand dinamakan kerinduan,
ketika kita tidak bisa menikmati waktu kita seperti biasanya, seperti dulu kala, atau seperti sebelum kita menjadi diam diam bahkan dalam jarak sedekat ini.

kesal

asdfghjklzxcvbnmqwertyuiop!!!!!

dream

a dream

it's not about how high your dream is

it's not about how stupid it is

a dream

is always about the way you catch it up

and how you make it comes true

Lover, You Should Have Come Over - Jamie Cullum

Looking out the door I see the rain fall upon the funeral mourners
Parading in a wake of sad relations as their shoes fill up with water
Maybe I'm too young to keep good love from going wrong
But tonight you're on my mind so you never know

I'm broken down and hungry for your love with no way to feed it
Where are you tonight, you know how much I need it
Too young to hold on and too old to break free and run

Sometimes a man, he gets carried away, when he feels like he should be having his fun
And he's much too blind to see the damage he's done
Cause sometimes a man must awake to find that really he has no one

So I'll wait for you and I'll burn
Will I ever see your sweet return
Oh will I ever learn

Oh lover, you should've come over
'Cause it's not too late

Lonely is the room, the bed is made, the open window lets the rain in
Burning in the corner is the only one who dreams he had you with him
My body turns and yearns for a sleep that will never come

Sometimes a man, he gets carried away, when he feels like he should be having his fun
And he's much too blind to see the damage he's done
Cause sometimes a man must awake to find that really he has no one

So I'll wait for you and I'll burn
Will I ever see your sweet return
Oh will I ever learn

Oh lover, you should've come over
'Cause it's not too late
'Cause it's not too late